How I actually feel on things

So I tried to explain to this guy and he doesn't understand what I am trying to say. You want someone to be there for you thats great and all but I am not the girl for that kind of love. You say you want me but I don't want you. Everytime you put your hands on me I feel nothing. When you call me all I want to do is hang up in disgust. You really don't care about me, you don't care about my feelings. You won't even open up for me. All you want is something I won't give you. Its a game for you. You think you want it but get it from someone else. After everytime I am with you all I want is to take a shower and get all of you off of me. I can't stand to see you outside of the room. all you call me for is a bootie call and I am not that girl. You say we can have a movie night but everytime you don't deliver and we get messed up into doing things. So what is next? I am not going to give you what you seek. Will the journey stop here or will you change and things can be different? I highly doubt that they will change so I will change them for you. I will be the one leaving and changing for the better.

For the guy I would love to date. If we came eye to eye on things would they work out? Our worlds wouldn't be a problem. Color wouldn't matter. In my eyes there is no color difference. Just two people that care for one another. It is like age, why should it matter so much what we are. So many people have walked this road before so why can't we. It doesn't even matter for I don't even know if you like me at all. I know for a friend I am good as anyone but as a girlfriend I might not be. It might not even be the color or race that I am but just the nature of things and the feelings for another that will keep apart my heart and yours. People will come and go throughout life but some will remain in your heart and if I am one of those than I have done my duty so far.

Those are my feelings as of now. They might change within the hour but who knows them but me.